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34, can I get an encore, do you want more?

Life is good, but it can be better.

Recently turning 34, I feel somewhat strange about my place in the world and who am I. In some ways I feel 34 and in others I definitely do not. In some ways I’m where I’m meant to be, living as well as I’ve ever done. In others, I feel I’m woefully behind, deficient, underachieving or plainly just have it all wrong. I never imagined my life turning out the way it has currently, today. I never thought it would have been this difficult nor would I have struggled with it so much. Nevertheless, I have achieved much success and have it better than most so what’s there to complain about.

“People understand me so little that they do not even understand when I complain of being misunderstood.” – Soren Kierkegaard

What better way to convey some of my feelings, but in poetry. After all, the artist is the one who suffers whilst the masses go, “please suffer again soon.”

Is this the way?

Am I ahead of the curve or,

Way off course

A deer in the headlights

Will the car hit me or,

Will I move in time?

What is the tipping point?

The straw that breaks the camel’s back?

The point of no return?

The line in the sand?

You never think it’ll be you

Left with something to do

Making sense of nonsense

People resist getting better

“the right way” is past tense

Men and women suffer together

In sight of insight

The answers are coming

The weight I carry

The burden I bare

Is it really mine?

Have I brought it onto myself?

A self-imposed prison

Perhaps only conquered by “He Has Risen”

Where did the fun go?

Where did the laughter?

The basic enjoyments of life

Disappeared without a patter

Safety and security pursued

At the cost of life satisfaction

I am a complex character

As the people say

A simple yes or no

To that I say “nay!”

Much unhappiness

If you live my way

So why do you do it?

Why keep fighting?

Do you believe you’re fighting for something,

For more than your survival?

Can you tell me what it is?

Do you even know?

Because I choose to.


There has to be more (to life)

There’s got to be

An eternal love

To make the suffering worthwhile

A transcendental beauty

To revitalise the soul

You can find it in people

You can find it in music

You can find it in art

Open your eyes and heart

I’ll keep coming back to thee

For as long as you’ll have me

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A complicated soul are you Martyn, too many deep thoughts at times. Life in general is not always easy and harder for some than others but is a journey that we all must endure in our own way love. Maybe you might need to go off road to find your true calling? Your family will always be there to support you, no matter what. Love Mum X💚

Martyn Foster
Martyn Foster
May 12, 2023
Replying to

I thank you for your words of encouragement, your empathy, and ongoing and unwavering love. I'm only too aware of the brooding moods I've put you through over the years, of which your love and support have endure. It is thanks to this family that I still feel I can conquer my world. Forever grateful, Love Martyn ❤️

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