Why my recent catchups with friends offered a nice dose of normality.
I’m sure we’re all familiar with sometimes getting too caught up in our own lives that we forget to take a step back, work out and appreciate what and who really matter in the grand scheme of things. As the great man Socrates once said, “beware the barrenness of a busy life”, it’s imperative, especially for someone like me, to not get too comfortable withdrawn away from the world in my room with my books and writings.
I’ve had three catchups with friends over the past week, which for me is unusual, but it has worked as a kind of recalibration process – haha “recalibration process”, do you even hear yourself man? – the psychologist in me would describe it as. The common man in me would say they were just good times filled with laughs, love and good discussion over shared interests. I truly cannot emphasise the importance enough of outsourcing our sanity in this increasingly insane world.
The great thing about these catchups was that they weren’t for something – outside the pleasure of each other’s company. I know this may sound trivial, but so many of our social interactions are planned with some purpose in mind. It was just nice to hang out and chill without the stress of needing to do something, expectations or time.
I called it a recalibration process to help illustrate how it’s very easy to get distracted and off the path. It’s very easy to get caught up in things which aren’t very meaningful, real or immediately relevant/important/impactful to you. It’s also very easy to become lost, and what good friends do is keep you grounded and on the path while offering respite from the vicissitudes of life.
A few times in the last week for several hours I was taken away from it all…and it was great. It was nice to have some fun and light-hearted laughs, a sense of belonging with shared interests and values. Nothing too serious, just music, films, video games, cars, basketball…even home renovations! I’m aware that a lot of what I do, whilst intellectually stimulating, is incredibly mentally and emotionally taxing, but I’m also still a human being.
The societal doom and gloom we’re constantly fed is also very draining and warping what people think most others are like. That’s another thing, a lot of my work demands an online presence, and I don’t think it’s too much to say that a significant amount of humans take upon a different (and sometimes more extreme) persona on the internet than they do in the flesh. On the internet, abnormality is normality, and I personally find this hugely disconcerting.
It was nice to hear about how excited my friend was that he got tickets to see Metallica when they come here for the first time in over a decade, instead of US politics. It was nice to see and hear my friends’ 7-month boy and what they were doing with their backyard, instead of the cost of living crisis. It was nice to converse deeply with a friend who is open-minded, civil and understanding despite thinking differently, instead of…well, I think you get the point.
Nothing seems to make much sense these days, but you can always depend on a catchup with friends to brighten your mood…you can take that to the bank!
Stay sane, people. Think of your mental health, not just what’s between the ears, but your existence in relation to the future and other people.
For more articles on togetherness, friends and friendship may I suggest:
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Lovely article Martyn and what great friends you have, really decent people :-) 😍