Take 5 – Languages

A delicatessen of dialects for a citizen of the world.


On my travels, I have sampled many a great tongue – Italian, French, German, Swedish, Russian – all providing wonderful sensory pleasures. I absolutely love listening to and conversing with people in their own language, which is why I always try to learn even the basics of a language before I go travelling somewhere. To me, English is a practical language, only on occasion can it sound beautiful – usually in the elegant and sophisticated “proper” UK dialect. Whereas say French, which according to one Frenchman in particular, even cursing is “like wiping your arse with silk, I love it.”

The Merovingian had a penchant for the French language.

So, benvenuto a tutti (welcome everyone) and lets begin with a collection of meine lieblingssprachen aus der ganzen welt (my favourite languages from around the world).

Italiano (Italian)

Ah va molte bene! My love of any and all things Italian extends to their lovely language, and it is indeed the language of love (although I’m sure the French will disagree). It is a very beautiful and passionate language, just like their national anthem which is peak Italian patriotism. I have to say, it is also the hand gestures which go with the language that I find appealing too! It was great fun playing the Ezio Trilogy of Assassin’s Creed games which went all over Italy and had many lines of Italian dialogue cover the whole range of emotions as well as some well-timed humour. Grazie á mille Fratelli mio di Italia! (thank you very much my brothers of Italy).

Francais (French)

Parlez-vous francais? Not just the hit single from over 10 years ago by Art vs Science, but “do you speak French?” The French language literally rolls off the tongue and is indeed a beautiful language when spoken fluently. One of my favourite films, “The Intouchables”, is a French film (if you haven’t seen it please do so, it is truly wonderful) and I honestly can’t imagine viewing it English, although the subtitles are a necessity. However, the French are no strangers to being arrogant and pretentious, so it is important to take the mick out of them – see below videos



Espana (Spanish)

Sticking with the theme of love-induced languages, the Spanish (whose inquisition nobody expects) have a language which matches the red-hot and lusty nature of their dances as well as being at home with every drug lord. All three languages so far can be spoken at a rate of knots, but I think only Irish people speak faster than those who speak Spanish. As a worldly traveller, you’d be amazed at how many countries speak Spanish (or some dialect of it – and yes, Portuguese sounds noticeable different), so it is handy to keep up one’s sleeve whilst exploring.

Deutsche (German)

Not going to lie, as a kid growing up I always thought the Dutch spoke Deutsche, but “Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles!” does not refer to Holland. German is just a cool language to me, it sounds both serious and hilarious in an odd way at the same time. I love the British-German banter especially surrounding the war. It’s difficult for me to not say “ze Germans” like I’m watching The Great Escape for the thousandth time. I’m quite fond of the tanned and blonde variety of German woman, but I don’t know whether she’s telling me that she is having a good day or her plans to invade Poland! Haha, all joking aside, it’s crackin’ to sprachen ze deutsche!

Русский (Russian)

The glorious motherland has an equally glorious language which is as cool as their weather. What Spanish is to drug lords, Russian is to gangsters/mobsters. It seems to me that everyone who speaks Russian just sounds like a boss. I have a good chuckle at the part in the movie “Lord of War”, where he says that Russia is good for AK47s, vodka, caviar and suicidal novelists. I’ll admit, I hardly speak a word of Russian, but I love Soviet-related humour, which you’d need, because do you have any idea how long winter lasts in this country? Probably not a surprise that my favourite Bond film is Goldeneye.

Do you like these languages too? Do you have other languages that you find (more) appealing? Suggest away!

It wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t say arrivederci, au revoir, adios, auf wiedersehen and Прощай (Proshchay).

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