Being liked, being criticised, being ignored

What’s worse for the creative?

Before anybody goes, “how can being liked be worse? What are you even talking about, Martyn?”, the answer is being ignored and we’ll get to what it means to be ignored and why it’s the worst. However, being liked is not all smooth sailing and brilliant despite immediately seeming that way, nor is being criticised the end of the world that some make it out to be. Having been on the receiving on or associated with all three at various points, I aim to explore the pitfalls of each and illustrate why being ignored is the worst thing for the creative along with some more modern concerns.

Photo by Marija Zaric on Unsplash.

So, what is wrong with being liked? After all, it’s what we want isn’t it? Validation and admiration. Sure, there are positives and it is indeed nice to have people tell you that you’ve made a difference to their lives in some meaningful way, but it can become akin to the problem of always being nice in general. One, it creates an expectation as to what you must do and to create more (in order to continue on receiving praise etc), and two, no one tells you where you are going wrong or what doesn’t work. The latter is what I don’t like the most, think of it like being surrounded by “yes” men, all of sudden you’ve hit an iceberg out of nowhere. Also, if someone is always liking what you do then they provide no discernible judgement, and in my opinion, are useless to you, if we’re being brutally honest. Still, being liked is certainly not the worst of the trio, but the pitfalls are not glaringly obvious, and one must remain humble, continue honing their craft and make sure they’re holding themselves accountable to the highest standard.

Which of course leads us on to being criticised, and no I’m not including the “haters” in this, because criticism is not blind hating despite how people try and conflate the two. Criticism can sometimes be the very thing you need to take your creative endeavours to the next level. Obviously, sometimes the criticism can become too loud, or worse, internalised – although it’s difficult to find a creative who isn’t incredibly self-critical, in my opinion – and what happens now is that a stunting of creative flow emerges, perhaps with crippling self-doubt and imposter syndrome. You start to second guess your ability or your passion for your chosen art form. The thing is, at least your creations are still eliciting emotion, response and feedback, albeit in the more negative direction. This is primarily why it isn’t the worst of the three.   

Sadly, even the good get ignored. Photo by Mohammad Mardani on Unsplash.

No artist/creative desires to be ignored (or to have people respond indifferently), plain and simple. It’s the worst possible thing. You don’t know whether you’re bloody Arthur or Martha, whether what you’re doing is good or bad, and/or could do with improving, upgrading a technical skill or just persevering. Sadly, this is the life for most artists/creatives, continually trying to express ourselves in a manner that generates some kind of interest, feeling and emotion out of anybody. The destitute and despairing artist is a common trope, but with good reason. Plenty die penniless, or don’t become famous until after they die. They create because they feel compelled to, it’s an innate need, it’s not for money or fame, but going ignored can have dire consequences – both psychologically and physically. Many an artist/creative has felt alone, like no one understands them nor can relate to them. A rejection or ignoring of the creation is generally taken as applying to the creator themselves and a blight on their existence. Even making things free is no guarantee of garnering an audience, and as we use price as a proxy for value, a lot of free stuff isn’t considered worthy of anything, plus there’s that little bit about needing to live.

I cover more of these topics here:

Money & Art – Part I and Part II

Why I’m afraid to ask for money

The psychology of money

For the modern creative just doing good work and often (and you'll be seen/rewarded) isn't enough. If anything, it’s barely the starting point. The internet has the power to make you irrelevant or make you known to more people than the majority of human history ever have been. Creatives battle the social media algorithms, and it’s difficult to know whether they’re working for you or against you (usually feels like the latter), with these companies having the power and ability to make you seen or hide you. Like a lot of our society, it’s (increasingly becoming) pay to play, as I alluded to in the meritocracy hypocrisy. What I do is not doing what the masses want, although I feel there is enough of a market for what I create, I just have to get it in front of their eyeballs which is half the challenge. I won’t debase myself or my work for a quick buck or cheap views and likes. Sometimes I can’t help but feel that people like what I say just from other people.

Nonetheless, I’m still a firm believer in this Jungian notion:

“An old alchemist gave the following consolation to one of his disciples: No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.” – Carl Jung 

I’ll be taking the next two Fridays off and return with something fresh on May 2nd.

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