Control what you can control

In a world of constant chaos remember this stoic principle.

Do you ever notice that the more you try to control for outcomes the more it negatively impacts your emotional wellbeing? Your stress levels, amongst other things, increase the more you try to rule over all aspects of your life. The truth is as much as we might like to regulate our entire existence – to primarily quash negative emotions arising within us – this is both impossible and illogical. However, logic and reason don’t tend to fair too well in a world dominated by chaotic behaviour. So, I strongly urge you to remember to control what only you can control.  

"You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realise this and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius

A brief but relevant detour before we continue. Many people misunderstand stoicism, believing it’s this philosophy that requires you to not feel anything. I see in a lot of places that stoicism wrongly gets a bad rap for being this unfeeling macho school of thought – mostly by people who’ve never read Marcus Aurelius or Epictetus. This couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s also not about being passive either – another incorrect interpretation. It’s a process and action-oriented philosophy in order to not become overwhelmed by our emotions and outcome fixated. Stoicism helps people realise there are very few things we actually have control over, how to process your feelings accordingly, and to live a life of virtue.

The source material - photo by Martyn Foster.

The society we inhabit is currently defined by its chaotic nature. Hopelessness, despair, degeneration, decline, instability, uncertainty, anxiety, depression are the currency of the realm. The two very important questions to ask yourself:

·      What can you do about it?

·      What do you have control over?

Once again, this is not about a cynical resignation to the ways of the world, but a path towards greater understanding and, dare I say it, a more enlightened existence with a sage-like equanimity.

Controlling what you can control can be best illustrated in your personal circumstances. Ultimately, we really don’t have control over our own physical health – death comes for us all – and there’s a lot about our physicality that happens to us in spite of even the most brilliant mix of diet and exercise. Getting a new job or getting a promotion (or donations from readers haha) is out of our hands and yet we allow ourselves to go on a rollercoaster of emotions instead.  

Can you control a country’s level of inflation? Of course not, but you do possess a level of fiscal control over your own finances. Do you have control over who your political leaders are and how they interact with other leaders? We cannot directly control the actions of another person, but we have measures to make people accountable and responsible for their actions. Do you the ability to always derive a positive outcome from your intimate partner or friend/s? No, you do not, but you do have the ability to keep company with those who uplift you and whose presence calls forth your best, to paraphrase Epictetus.

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." - Epictetus

If it is not evident, we can’t always choose what happens to us, but choosing how we respond is always available. However, I see a society that is largely overwhelmed and exhausted with feelings of frustration and anger, and this impinges upon our ability to respond in a desirable manner. Our past decisions catch up with us, but we can’t control the past, only how we respond to it now.

It is a tumultuous time in the world and I, like many others, are holding onto what remains of our sanity by the skin of our teeth. Perhaps, like my recent article, I need to let go of not just being a somebody, but my desire to control more avenues in my life than I can.

“…and in case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and good night! Because we really are living in a “Truman Show” style experiment!

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