Why a lot of problems would disappear if people felt heard, understood and loved.
Not just a song by Deep Purple or the words ushered by Lewis Hamilton after winning the 2018 German Grand Prix, “Love conquers all” can be applied to great effect in our everyday lives.
Martin Luther King Jr. once described love as being “the greatest force in the universe” and given how this is post #42 it is kind of fitting as love could be “the answer to life, the universe, and everything.”
I don’t know about you, but I see the rise in anger, frustration, hostility and incivility as symptomatic of people who are crying out to be heard, understood and loved. Granted there are some ridiculous and infantile narcissists out there, but for the most part I believe the previous sentence to be true.
Love can be both a need and a want, and does evoke strong feelings of attachment and belonging. The love that society seems to focus on is from an “other”, a partner, a friend and so on, but love must start with “you”, self-love.
One of the important things with practicing self-love, you don’t find yourself constantly needing that external love and validation from someone else. Self-love also helps in making one’s behaviour and emotions less volatile to things beyond your control, which the love from an “other” is i.e. you can’t make someone truly love you nor control or demand it.
What happens when you do not have the love within is that you try and overcompensate in seeking the love without, your behaviour is dictated in order to receive love from somebody. The bad news is when you don’t receive love from said person usually one of two pathways happen. One can respond negatively e.g. angrily or sulking, in an attempt to guilt the person for not loving them. Another is that they will continue to try and find ways to garner love from said person and in the process this can push said person away even further from giving them any love.
When something like the above event occurs, generally something has not been communicated, that is someone has not felt heard, understood and loved (possibly even both parties). True love between two people, conveys an understanding that is beyond human language and touches on the metaphysical realm, it is transcendent.
It does take courage to love, it necessitates trust, it does require vulnerability, which we may not like to display. We must honestly start with ourselves and move outward to the people closest to us before cultivating a general, broad love for our communities, countries and indeed humanity. We must encourage ourselves to be better people and love accordingly.