So be it

Not as cynical passivity or resignation, but as wisdom and acceptance.

Life is movement. It comes and it goes. It transitions seamlessly from one to another. If we try to resist or prevent, we suffer. We cannot stop the seasons from changing about as much as stopping our own death. A new child is born, friends stop seeing each other, your feelings for an intimate partner change, your thoughts on something you held tightly have loosened…all speak to the impermanence of existence. This isn’t about being a pushover or not standing up for anything, but a fundamental realisation of what is and what is not.

Jet Li's new book. Photo courtesy of Martyn Foster.

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying recently Jet Li’s new book, Beyond Life and Death: The Way of True Freedom along with his YouTube series “So be it” with his daughter Jada, who does a wonderful job facilitating the conversations and when the Chinese to English translations need more articulation. From martial arts virtuoso to action star to his long love-affair with Buddhism and attempts to alleviate suffering from as many people – including himself – it’s really an interesting read and listen.

Impermanence and interconnectedness are two massive themes which help in alleviating suffering and our resistance to life. The notion of “so be it” does involve an inherent surrender to life in which the resistance dissolves away. Understanding the way in which life is interlinked, people are linked, goals are linked, our communities, cities and countries, our stories, our education. The transitory nature of our time here, and indeed all things, is illuminated through the concept of impermanence. Castles, Kings and Queens, all eventually succumb.

We all know pain, some more than others, but the bitterness from pain can (and must) be separated out otherwise the suffering becomes much more – the suffering of suffering. There are voluntary and involuntary parts to pain and suffering, let’s not add to them unnecessarily, shall we?

Photo by Abhijeet Gourav on Unsplash.

Don’t hide yourself away even if you love solitude. We have to be wary of our tendencies for isolation and withdrawal, and not just those practising Buddhists. We are social creatures and the majority of us are not going to live in temples and remote areas like the monks. We must learn to cultivate patience and compassion for our fellow human beings – which seems to be getting more difficult every year, unfortunately.

This idea of becoming a child (again) of the world is rooted in the question “who are you?” A human being. Where do you live? Earth. It’s a realisation of our shared humanity, our interconnectedness. Your identity shouldn’t be founded on pride and self-obsession, hallmarks of the “small self” as Jet Li refers to it as. We need to shift perspectives towards the “big self” – and ideally “no self” when/if you reach full enlightenment – the big self being primarily about helping and compassion for others, reducing the overall suffering.

Turn inwards, go within, the answers you seek are not “out there”, external from you, and in worldly material items and possessions.

It’s important to not let your aspirations and desires control you/become your boss nor allow you to become overly self-centred. Awareness is crucial, dealing properly with our thoughts and emotions, along with realising our delusions we have been believing is among the many things we can do. While it’s okay to have lofty goals, be wary of pursuits surrounding status, wealth and external validation, these are prone to traps and shift you back towards the small self. The results also tend to be out of your control – so be it!

We don’t need “perfect” conditions, surrender to the fact that all of life is training. Realising you don’t need the silence in the mountains of Tibet, and can just be even stuck in an airport with a 10-hour layover…smile, so be it. Meditate, love, live in service of others, help reduce suffering. Take yourself from knowing to being – the intellectual to the embodied…a seamless interaction between one and world, which all barriers disappear. This is not a resignation of fate or a lazy attitude to life, but a way to wisdom and true freedom.

Please consider donating at one of the links below, if you are able to do so, I would very much appreciate it.

Ko-fi

PayPal