Sweating the small stuff
The magnification of small indiscretions in a safer and more ethical society.
The article this week is a flow on from last week, sort of. With the abundance of hate, I’m trying to lessen the unnecessary suffering by not making mountains out of molehills and adding needless tension, drama, and pain. This may sound like an odd time to bring this topic up given the “big” problems we have going on, but it matters how we do things and I’m a very principled person. It’s easier to point at wrongdoers, but a lot more difficult to be truly good. I’m trying to be emotionally sensitive about this as it may feel like I’m disparaging those who are trying to make the world a better place in spite of the negativity, but I cannot stress it enough, it matters how you do it, it’s not just a means to an end, or because other people are doing worse it’s okay (with how I’m doing it).
Alright, with that slightly long preface, let us proceed.
Having been recently reacquainted with some of Emile Durkheim’s work, the pioneer of modern sociology, it got me thinking about the nature and direction of our current society, especially over the last 10-20 years. Overall, I like to think the trend is that society has gotten safer and more ethical, particularly compared to 100 or even 50 years ago, despite our current woes.
Durkheim suggested that the more comfortable and ethical society a society became, the more small indiscretions would become magnified in our minds. If everyone stopped killing each other, we wouldn’t necessarily feel good about it. We’d just get equally upset about the more minor stuff. Now, I admit this may be more difficult to swallow for today’s audience, but just for a second imagine a world where we had no crime, no corruption, everyone was respectful, non-violent, and equal, no one lied…If all our problems ceased…would conflict cease? Would stress evaporate? Would we be frolicking in the fields singing hallelujah? Durkheim certainly thought not.
Now, two things, that type of world – from above – will never exist, so it’s easy to suggest what one might think would happen, and it’s difficult for people to imagine getting so agitated about something so little. However, using our current society, we can view it akin to the moving of the goal posts, concept creep and the Overton window, which has been quite dramatic in the last decade or so. Do we always need to be in opposition to something? Up against something?
The field of Developmental Psychology also postulates something similar – protecting people from problems and adversity doesn’t make them happier or more secure; it makes them more easily insecure. Humans, we’re problem-solving creatures, we progress through adversity and challenge. Is it just the natural order of moving from one issue to the next, or is it truly an elevation of minor indiscretions into glaring moral faults?
We keep drilling down and down and down in an attempt to alleviate ourselves from suffering only to give ourselves more suffering. “I can do wrong because there’s someone out there doing more wrong than me”, is not a justification. If change is inevitable – which it is – then it matters how you do it, and I’m sorry if I’m labouring that point. In a way it’s like not being content with defeating your opponent, you have to humiliate them, then why not annihilate them, soon you’re tarnishing their legacy, and before you know it you’re removing them from the history books and going after those who still remember them.
Maybe I’m concerned about the wrong thing, I just think if I can reduce little amounts of suffering in many people that’s better than getting nowhere on big issues. I want to try and reel us back in from getting too ridiculous. To paraphrase former Navy Seal Jocko Willink, “if my daughter’s biggest problem is the Wi-Fi then I’ve done my job”, is a sentiment we probably all can get behind, but we must be aware of our natural tendencies to unconsciously fall into saying things like our steak is too juicy and our lobster too buttery.
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